i feel uncomfortable around my dadi feel uncomfortable around my dad

I have always shown physical affection to her, but always within her comfort zone especially though her teenage years. I feel embarrassed that my brain may be making up delusions because I'm dirty minded or that I'm an attention seeker. I ended up having a huge fight with him when I was eleven/twelve about how I didn't like the way he touched my butt, and my mother and I had to go to our neighbor's house for help at 3 in the morning. Learn to say no . I felt uncomfortable changing in the locker room. But at the same time, its important to acknowledge that you have the right to naturally get upset by others unthoughtful actions. Read our, Reasons Why You Might Think "I Hate My Dad", Mental Health Impact of Hating Your Father, Coping Strategies If You Feel "I Hate My Dad", Alcoholic Fathers and a Child's Development, 'I Hate My Family:' What to Do If You Feel This Way, I Hate People: Why You Feel This Way and What to Do, I Hate My Mom: What to Do When You Feel This Way, I Hate My Life': What to Do and How to Cope, Daddy Issues: Psychology, Causes, Signs, Treatment, I Hate My Sister: What to Do When You Feel Hate Toward Siblings, Insecurity in Relationships: Ways to Cope. While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. If youre too agitated, just say youll talk about it later. This all started when i caught my dad looking at my breasts and legs while we were talking late at night in the kitchen. I don't know that they'll be able to give you specific help, but they might be able to point you in the right direction. My mother is the paranoid, afraid of the world person. When I was around 16, he introduced me to pornography, masturbation, and has also been involved in inappropriate touching. Learn everything you can about CEN, and begin to address yours. Give yourself a pep talk and make sure you have a good friend on-call that can lift your spirits if the fam brings you down. I feel so scared for both my mother and I that it's paralysing at times. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know he's thought unclean things about me. We do live together, but currently I see him rarely as he lives in the US at this moment for his job. Any thoughts or suggestions would be wonderful , thanks so much. ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, 22 hours ago, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:16 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:24 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:29 PM, By It would better serve them to look inside themselves and see how theyre managing and feeling, rather than being so concerned with others behaviors. Since Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) is invisible and unmemorable, it can be difficult to know if you have it. Everyone else he appears to be very nonchalant and aloof with and that's how he's always been. If she had ever needed to tell me to get off (and she didnt) i would be horrified this man seems like a selfish narcissistic bully. I was so uncomfortable as Im still young. Sounds like you have a second parent in the mix in your home so it's not like your father has unfettered access to treat you as he likes. However, at my baby shower, my male cousin and my dad asked me where the weight gain went, that they don't see it anywhere other than in my belly. I understand how being under that situation long enough makes you doubt your instincts, but from what I read about how he manipulate you to get what he wants is abuse. If you are uncomfortable around him, try to avoid him. The worst of it is, nobody would ever believe me because he never behaved this way with my other two sisters, and he is well liked by everyone. It may be innocent, may not, but if you are uncomfortable, it must change. The time they spent with their families was like walking on hot coals; they couldnt wait for it to be over. Maybe your father was sorting through his own issues and couldnt show up for you. By Kelly1988 Being emotionally neglected by your dadcan have lasting impacts throughout life, even as you grow into an adult. I need constant reassurance that people love me and care. You don't. That critical connection that we long to feel about our fathers is missing because of their lack of understanding (or desire) to foster a close father-child relationship. Parent, financially dependent, does not mean you have to put up with it. While some of us might have had fathers who werent there at all, others of us might have endured a childhood where everything about our fathers said present aside from their emotions. It makes me anxious and I blame myself even if Im not guilty of anything. Nina F. When people get upset with me, I automatically assume its my fault. Jennifer P. I tend to make desperate attempts to cling onto relationships in my life, particularly when they are new, and I am still unsure of the other persons feelings towards me. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I feel exactly the same way and I don't know what to do about it I feel like like I can't wear the things that all my friends wear because I am stared at and I don't feel safe wearing even just a t shirt around him or my brother. That will give you time to relax and think about how you want to deal with the situation if you want to talk about it at all. Thank you so much! Essentially, their sense of self-vanishes in the presence of others, especially in the presence of family. Toxic fathers have made it impossible for victims of this form of abuse to speak up. Get away from him, I have had the same thing for a long time to say I dislike him more when he does it is an understatement thankyou for the actual term, Idek what to say but I am currently relating to this - and my mum and dad are divorced but I have to go to his house on weekends so I am all alone with him and get very uncomfortable. A MAN. To learn more about Childhood Emotional Neglect, you canvisit her website. Any advice or really any comments would be helpful, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You can make him stop and leave you alone by getting out. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Take note of these changes and work with yourself and your family to get back on a normal diet and schedule. Your mom is to blame as well for not stopping it. When people fail to develop a strong self, their well-being and functioning usually depend on what others say or dont say, instead of on what they personally think. . She could never relate to me or talk to me. If you are a victim of child abuse or know someone who might be, call or text the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 to speak with a professional crisis counselor. he's been a great father and i . He just stops talking to me whenever he feels like I should be punished but the thing is that I haven't done anything wrong. Feeling less stressed around family is all about learning to manage your own part in your relationships with others, instead of trying to manage everyone elses feelings. Nothing less than some things I'm not (some things better). The crucial part is knowing that just because youre upset doesnt mean you have the right to act out from those emotions. pastoralcucumbers She puts relationship on hold. I don't talk to him on the phone either. Jonice Webb has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is theauthor of the book Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. This is something my parents did growing up so that we could talk about things that were hard to do face to face. Uncomfortable with husband's family. Learn to value and respect your feelings. You need to think about the reasons why youve distanced yourself and if the bond between you and your family can be fixed. The pop star body rolled to a tune from from her fourth album. Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress. I hope you can find a safe way out and can get help. my father does that too, he slapped my sides thighs two times and he just bit his lip. As hard as it might be to switch your brain over into positive mode, its in your best interest to do so. Me and my husband has been together for 5 years but only been married for 4 months. Edit: I really appreciate all these comments and I hope people who went through the same this saw this and empathise so they know they're not alone. I am not comfortable with the energy we've created in the studio today B'). Dealing with stressful situations in the moment. But.. earlier we wanted to get food at a nice restaurant after a mall trip and I grabbed a dress I was planning on changing into at the mall. I was daddys little girl. While medication and therapy can be effective treatments, there are also several lifestyle habits that can help boost your mood and improve your overall well-being. Maybe your father was detached or apathetic. Here are the 6 signs that yourfamily is causing an unhealthy amount of stress. Stay safe, and I believe you will get through it. I have always felt like I have to dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me. U feel bad to talk about your own father this way. Started November 12, 2022, By This is not normal. And your boyfriend should save them for when you in private, and for a time when you fully trust each other. It's absolutely wrong. When I grow tired of trying to prove myself, it leaves me in a dark place making myself believe Im not good enough for anyone. Kara S. Its hard for me to let anyone else in. Once you can separate fantasy from reality, you free yourself from perpetual disappointment and can live a more stable and consistent life without the ups and downs of intermittently viewing him through the lens of fantasy and reality. Don't let him hug you if you are afraid. Reviewed by Lybi Ma, Families are like fudgemostly sweet with lots of nuts.. Consider these guidelines: Its invisibleand transmits automatically. I feel uncomfortable around my dad too, but not because he has ever wronged me, but because we are different people and never have seen eye to eye as such. I find this disturbing. Once I find a strong man, I dont let go. I said it all went to my butt. React. I'm pretty sure he loves me but I just want to make things a little more peaceful with my dad.. He rages a lot and gets extremely agitated when he gets confused. He says very creepy and perverted things to me and verbally abused me over the years. If you find that youre doing one or more of these things, youre not alone. I'm only thirteen and I told my mother about my father but she thought that I was just being sensitive. I'm so scared. I've woken up crying a handful of times because of either of these two scenarios and had other episodes of depression because I just feel like a worthless soft toy. Press J to jump to the feed. While youre fighting off stomach cramps when deciding what to wear, try to figure out wherethe anxiety is stemming from. If you feel uncomfortable, you should probably talk to your mom. In turn,it might be a little easier sitting down to dinner with your family. You could also be eating more to help you cope with the tension in the household. You need to start working on getting independent. Children who experience strong negative feelings toward their fathers tend to have trouble in their attachment to others as adults. Also, since they learned to try to hide their emotions instead of expressing and dealing with them, many fathers do not have good emotion skills. He flips out when I say that I'm not comfortable and stops speaking to me. Started October 26, 2022. My mom and dad are still together. And he threteaned to hit you! Know this. Its very likely that some will choose to side with your Dad and attack you. I honestly don't know why because he's never done anything awful to me really but maybe there's a reason I'm not seeing? REfuse to put up with this nonsense. Children are perceptive and are acutely aware of relational dynamics among their primary caretakers. Automatically assume its my fault great father and I that it 's paralysing times! Peaceful with my dad thought unclean things about me just Being sensitive 'm an attention seeker unhealthy. To get back on a normal diet and schedule peaceful with my looking! 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