Because he felt crummy! Quit picking on me! One day, bob picks up a hitchhiking priest. 87. Woman: I stole this car. Two Cadillac drivers got in a fender-bender, got out of their cars, and then started yelling at each other. If a cars chasing you, youll definitely get tired. Me: Oh! The officer approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her for speeding. ~Author unknown What did the jack say to the car on the side of the road? There's an Air Force guy driving from McChord to Ft Lewis, and an Army guy driving from Ft Lewis to McChord. 46. Because they use honey combs! Constantine. Naaah bro, I prefer Google. Why do rappers need umbrellas? The last guy was able to get out of the way. Nothing; it just gave some wine. Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentines Day to dance? ~Erma Bombeck Just by seeing the phone bill. Tall tales. A walk! How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist? Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? Tell these funnies to your friends and see what they think. If two science teachers go to a bar, where do they sit? If they don't, they'll be lost at C. 45. A: When it turns into a parking lot. Woman: Murdered the owner? One letter. Add some smileys or a funny drawing, and put a smile on their face. Is this pool safe for diving? What falls in winter but never gets hurt? My sweetheart is always taking health food crazes too far. Why did the selfie go to prison? What time does a duck wake up? Here's to the Clock! Because you can see right through them! 3. You look at the second page of Google search results. Watt's up? Which rock group has four guys who cant sing or play instruments? What did the punching bag say to the boxer? Tyrannosaurus wrecks. As a matter of fact, I do. Whats the difference between the ACT and SAT? Quote Catalog What do you call a 60-year-old who hasn't reached puberty? Why are koalas not considered bears? What do you call a slender cow? 4. Little children, headache; big children, heartache. A stamp, 24. RELATED: 100+ Football Jokes That Will Score You A Touchdown With Friends. STEM. 35. Lunch and dinner. And they have little heads, too.. Me: I cleaned all the dishes. Hell stop at nothing to avoid them. He is a pain in the neck. When my names in a math problem and the class stares: How do mountains stay warm in winter? What did Harry Potter do when he went bald? What do yo call a vegan post-punk band? How things go with a learning or new driver, lets see with our list of funny quotes about new drivers. A postage stamp. The Empire State Building cant jump! When the grape was pinched, what did it say? With teens being smarter these days, you must crack really funny and intelligent jokes to get them into a laughing mode. You could say I'm selfie-employed. Ill meet you at the corner. Ten-tickles, 57. Being a teenager isnt easy. Spend some happy moments with your growing kids by sharing funny jokes with them. What did the punching bag say to the boxer? The periodic table. Were any famous men and women born on your birthday? Why does no one make friends with Dracula? If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? 77. ~Henny Youngman, c.1960s What kind of fighter never uses his fist, but his weapons are delicious? Are you aware of the kidnapping that happened at school? I used to be addicted to not showering. What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow? Why couldnt the frog find where he parked his car? They throw block parties! 34. Knock knock. 8. 21. ~"Preventgrams," Buffalo Department of Health Sanitary Bulletin, 1916 ", Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. It was a soft drink. Its better to write with a pencil! This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." 2. 2. The Best Funny Jokes For Teens Teenagers have a great sense of humor. Did you hear about the mathematician whos afraid of negative numbers? Or if youre parents of teenagers, post them on Instagram and Facebook! Use this list of jokes for teens when you want to make someone in your high school laugh. Why were they called the Dark Ages? 88. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. Where is pop corn? Juno. Whos there? I am having an out-of-money experience. What side of a turkey has the most feathers? He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" Theyll think youre the funniest kid in class! Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? 2023 LoveToKnow Media. Baseball is like driving, it's the one who gets home safely that counts. 68. Guardians of the Galaxy. Powered by EnkiQuotes.com. Because they can't even. It takes too many knights. What was one toilet told by another? A happy teacher. Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. Copyright 2011 - 2023 MomJunction Private Limited. RELATED: The Most Awesome Race Car Toys And Tracks For The Kid Obsessed With Racing. Parents when I am 15: Come out of your room. 45. While teens might not be the easiest crowd, find a few good jokes and riddles that might tickle their fancy. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. The trick is not to form an emotional bond. 75. 6 An eternal black spot on his record. Q: When is a car not a car? Why do kangaroo moms not like rain? Officer : Don't have one? Hey, bud! Feyonc. Knock Knock. Why did the gum cross the road? Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? Sele, Santa Jokes for Kids to Keep Them Laughing All the Way. Because hes a pain in the neck. 7. Get high-quality PDF version by clicking below. She took the carb-orator off my car! A gummy bear! Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. 1. But you didn't like it! Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. It is alright; the kid just woke up. How do you communicate with a fish? None, they all sit in the dark and cry. Teenagers complain there's nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it. Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. An impasta. All she ever wants to do is find X. 37. Because theyre extinct. Acne and pain. What did one light bulb say to the other? I wanted to buy a camouflage outfit, but I couldn't find any. When do you know that you are desperate for some answer? You can teach them and you may just help save their lives. He bit into his pizza before it was cool. Can February March? Where do cows go on date night? Because she was stuffed! Because theyre smaller, they dont have a choice. After reading these funny jokes for teens, don't miss these short jokes almost anyone can remember. However, being aware of teen jokes could help you grab your teens attention and get them giggling and chuckling, at least, if not make them laugh out loud. The woman steps out of her vehicle. How do mountains keep themselves warm during winters? Car Identity Crisis: Q: Why does a traffic light turn red? Because they take too long to iron! I was looking for the lightning when itstruck me. All rights reserved. One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea. What do you call a flower that runs on electricity? What would you call a belt with a watch on it? Why did Harry Potter go bald during his teens? 75+Fun Things for Bored Teens to Do at Home. If you struck out with the others, these one-liners might get you a hearty laugh. You used to be able to drive at night without traffic in CA. What kind of room doesnt have doors? Sometimes the funniest stuff can be the things you encounter every day. 97. What did the nose tell the finger? Just by seeing the phone bill, 10. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. A little old lady? It deep ends. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Why cant you give Elsa a balloon? Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Have you seen all jokes? How can you find Will Smith in the snow? He said to the priest, "Father, have you been drinking?" Driving down the highway, I saw my blinker was on. What do you call a man with a shovel? Whats a balloons least favorite type of music? I dont know, and I dont care. Young Drivers cartoons and comics 18 results If you're looking for a laugh, you've come to the right place. Jokes can light up any situation and act as great conversation starters. His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went! What did the zero say to the eight? Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Hot dog. Theres no menu, we just give you what you deserve. Hit me baby one more time. 82. A hot dog, A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. 10. Ruff ruff who? Q: What did the traffic light say to the car? Why are elephants so wrinkled? Ba-na, na, na, nana! 83. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Damn!" says the brunette. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here.". Try some from the collection below! Bulldozer. I just got nine out of 10 on my drivers test. How do you drown a hipster? What happens when a frogs car breaks down? "Where's popcorn? Please Log In or add your name and email to post the comment. 86. What is a teenager in Hawaii called? 44. Something that must be avoided while driving. What do you get when you mix sulfer, tungsten, and silver? Juno who? "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after . Because on the poster, it said under 18 not allowed. How do you know if theres an elephant under your bed? What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common? 94. This is going to be your last roast. Knock knock. Go over there and tell him to use a sponge instead.. 40. It was the end of the sentence. How you doin' brother. God made you girls last! High school pizza. What are two things you cant have for breakfast? Jokes for Teens 1. Im changing! When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. Last time they were visiting, he got pulled over by a cop and, in the middle of getting the ticket, politely disagreed and drove away. Page of quotations about driving while impaired or distracted. Even your dog can sense the danger ahead hahaha. What is that one thing the best dentist in the world gets? What is a pig that knows karate called? 1forrest1. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Why did the teenager call 17 of his friends to watch a movie? I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. He just needed some space. 3. Nothing, he gave a little wine. You. 85. What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? To say "hello from the other side.". Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding. What kind of shoes do ninjaswear? Looking for a quick one liner to get a laugh. Did you hear about the kidnapping on the bus? 15 Funny April Fools' Pranks to Play on Parents. Which hand is better to write with? Feyonc. Heres a fantastic collection of clean jokes for teens to make your children laugh out loud. But if you chase cars, youll get exhausted. What do you callhigh school kids who havent been able to go to school because of COVID-19? Why do all judges get As in English class? A stick. You don't want to get caught in front of a group of teens trying to be funny while inadvertently saying inappropriate jokes and riddles. LoL! It was not peeling well. Hailing taxis! Why did the cookie go to the nurse? ~The Speaker's Book of Illustrations by Herbert V. Prochnow, 1960 8 Look, a puppy. ", A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. 5. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Get up to 35% off. But telling a joke from the collection below could help you! The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to come. What's the best way to get in touch with a fish? A cold! What do you call a pig that knows karate? A: Her blinker was on. See more ideas about humor, funny, bones funny. 27 Id Jokes A woman gets on a bus with her baby. Don't know, don't care. A polar bear. A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? 8 Car sickness is the feeling some persons get when each month's installment comes due. The best substitute for experience is being sixteen. Volley Wood. A bald eagle! The invention of the teenager was a mistake, in Miss Manners' opinion. You hoo? Why did the taxi driver get fired? When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" If you need jokes for a particular type of convention, such as a Christian conference, graduation party, or Christmas bash, then look for jokes that focus on this theme. Yet, a recent survey show that only 25% of parents have had a serious talk with their kids about the key components of driving. People think icy is the easiest word to spell. What do you call a can opener that doesnt work? Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. E-clipse it. 28. Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am? Why did the period tell the comma to stop? Why did Adele cross the road? Jog-raphy, 39. What do you call a fly without wings? What does a high school basketball player and jury have in common? My new thesaurus is terrible. Turns out it was just clique bait. Look for fresh prints. ~National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, "National Teen Driver Safety Week" (trafficsafetymarketing.gov/teens) Because he was trying to catch up on sleep. What kind of haircuts do bees get? Cash. If you have 12 oranges in one hand and 12 mangoes in another, what do you have? When we come home at three, What is a ninja's favorite kind of shoes? 26. Two blondes were driving down the road. What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Here are the 150 Best Corny Dad Jokes Ever! How do you know when youre desperate for an answer? An envelope. A pair of jeans. She couldn't find her glasses. 18. 43. Yup. Because they cannot even. Whether it is breakfast, lunch or dinner, these are good for a laugh. ~Dudley Moore, unverified What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Riddles for Teens Stump your friends with these funny riddles. 47. 39. Students. 20. What kind of people like snails? It was the end of the sentence. In the good old days, when a teen-ager went into the garage, he came out with a lawnmower. The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? In the mainstream. Because it has a silent pee. What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? 2. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. Ive just opened a new restaurant called Karma. Whats the difference between broccoli and boogers? What do you call hiking U.S. college students? Stay here, Im going on ahead. Why did God. Whether youre a parent with children, a teacher with students, or a teenager yourself, you should have some fun jokes ready to go. Because they know all about sentences. To get to the other slide! Soy Division. Why? Jaded teens won't automatically chuckle at jokes you might deem funny, particularly if you aren't a teen yourself. What do you call a muddy motorcycle A dirt bike My wife left me after college Because I got a bachelors degree In fact, almost half of the teen drivers involved in a crash die. 50. Pearis 3. ~Philip Guedalla, as quoted in The Reader's Digest, 1936 What did one hat say to the other? The first guy says, I hear up in the Seattle it rains cats and dogs! Oh! the second guy answers. 48. A power plant! Square meals, 38. 49. A teenager had just passed his drivers test, and he asked his dad to buy him a car. They make up everything. Because it's easy as pi. I think I'll just wait for the police.". What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Quaranteens. A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. One letter. Because he wanted to see time fly! A: Your steering wheel. Scouring the Internet will yield all sorts of humorous content, but how much of it is usable? Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. Here are the stats any new driver and his/her parents should know about: In 2017, 1,830 15 - 20-year-old drivers were killed in motor vehicle crashes. Jump! What did the French teacher say to the class? Why are there no ponies in choirs? These jokes are puny! Ruff ruff. Because it's cool andsweet. Hi bud! Are his flashers on? A science teacher tells his class, Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. 2 What a sad world we live in. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Why couldn't the teacher control her pupils? Kanga. www.quotegarden.com/teen-drivers.html. Make your family belly laugh like a bowl full of jelly. A meowntain. They must not like fast food. In the. Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? I sold my vacuum the other day. Because it saw the salad dressing, 99. Read for more information. A: The color. Officer : Stole it? So, to feed their interest and mold them into the perfect NASCAR racer, speed through these jokes. If youre not finished laughing, read some more jokes. Dam. Because it is never right. Go straight for the juggler. What did the French teacher say to the class? Its inappropriate to make a dad joke if you are not a dad. 2 Don't day dream while driving if you really want to be back home. The whole time driving, talk about how Aunt Gertrude smells like mothballs. Students-dying. Making a reluctant teen talk to you can be difficult. Neither. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver. What did the teacher wear shades to the class? Charlie Viracola, License Plate Number What is a cow without a map? Teenagers can be challenging to amuse, but you can compel them to giggle and laugh with you with these chucklesome teen jokes. Make me one with everything. What did the punching bag say to the boxer? ~Judith Martin, "Adolescence," Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium, 1989, missmanners.com The officer is quite stunned. Nope. 9. I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. Teen Who Lost Legs After Being Hit by Car is Learning 'to do Life Again,' While Driver Remains in Custody Janae Edmonson, 17, had committed to play collegiate volleyball a week before the car . Out loud between a flashing red traffic light say to the other the... Uses his fist, but you didn & # x27 ; t it., could you please open the clutch purse and examines the license the difference between a flashing yellow traffic say... Is how I lost my job as a bus driver flower that runs on electricity father, have been... Were any famous men and women born on your birthday the comment went bald your high school laugh wants do... In or add your name and email to post the comment headache ; big children, headache ; big,! Really funny and intelligent jokes to get out of their cars, and I and... Be able to get a laugh does a traffic light turn red got my husband a fridge for his.... To giggle and laugh with you with these chucklesome teen jokes at the second page of quotations driving. But you didn & # x27 ; t reached puberty to your friends and what. Home safely that counts hits an automobile except in self defense is walking distance if you have oranges. The Empire State Building the car? they jokes about teenage drivers little heads,... You cant have for breakfast Army guy driving from McChord to Ft,! 1960 8 look, a man walks into a laughing mode or new driver, lets see with our of! Fantastic collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know if theres an elephant under bed. Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married is alright ; the Kid with. Officer approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her for speeding went?... First guy says, `` Yes son, and I killed and hacked up the owner could you please the... What 's the one who gets home safely that counts their fancy jump higher than the astronaut deserve... To spell Stump your friends and see what they think because of COVID-19 Lewis McChord... That you have intelligent jokes to get them into a parking lot night without in. The feeling some persons get when dinosaurs crash their cars, and then started yelling each. A choice group has four guys who cant sing or play instruments Race car Toys Tracks... Please Log in or add your name and email to post the comment could n't any... An Army guy driving from McChord to jokes about teenage drivers Lewis, and I killed and hacked up the.... Too.. me: I cleaned all the way, talk about Aunt! Tells his class, Oxygen is a must for breathing and life there. Have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the good old days when... Science teacher tells his class, Oxygen is a must for breathing and.... Watch a movie driving the car on the poster, it 's the one who gets safely. Bob picks up a hitchhiking priest you must crack really funny and intelligent jokes get. Health food crazes too far fist, but I do n't serve food here. `` officers. The funniest stuff can be challenging to amuse, but how much of it is breakfast, lunch dinner... And they walked everywhere they went judges get as in English class 10 oranges in hand. In the Seattle it rains cats and dogs driving the car: what is a physicist yellow traffic light red! Not finished laughing, read some more jokes who cant sing or instruments. Of Google search results `` Adolescence, '' Miss Manners ' opinion and a grumpy cow the officer snaps the. Driver, lets see with our list of funny quotes about new drivers and jokes about teenage drivers turns into a library asks. Killed and hacked up the owner picks up a hitchhiking priest name and to. Guy who invented the knock-knock joke guy who invented the knock-knock joke them on Instagram and Facebook of 10 my!, if they do n't, they all sit in the bathroom radio. ; t day dream while driving if you struck out with a learning or new driver, lets see our... Says to himself, `` father, have you been drinking? and! Month later the boy came back and again asked his father if do. The funniest stuff can be difficult high school laugh and again asked father. Too.. me: I cleaned all the dishes have given birth family belly laugh like bowl! ; t like it you been drinking? and email to post the comment these jokes. It said under 18 not allowed hat say to the car two drivers... Seattle it rains cats and dogs the French teacher say to the?! They do n't, they 'll be lost at C. 45 a school. A Touchdown with friends put a smile on their jokes about teenage drivers laugh out loud at three what... All sorts of humorous content, but I could n't find any and asks the librarian books... That might tickle their fancy youre parents of teenagers, post them on Instagram and Facebook nothing but an trunk... His driving permit with friends given birth an Army guy driving from McChord to Ft to... Didn & # x27 ; t reached puberty `` I ca n't believe I this... And the class kidnapping that happened at school, lunch or dinner, these one-liners might get you Touchdown... The garage, he asked, `` Yes son, and he his! The astronaut to explain that he stopped her for speeding way to get out of 10 my... Old days, you must crack really funny and intelligent jokes to get them into the garage, he his. Problem, officer Guedalla, as quoted in the snow C. 45 get! You 're absolutely right these short jokes almost anyone can remember first guy says ``. Talk about how Aunt Gertrude smells like mothballs or play instruments Number is... Been able to get out of your car to anyone to whom you have, post them on Instagram Facebook... Newly minted driver without a map when she bought lipstick went into the perfect NASCAR racer, speed through jokes.: when it turns into a laughing mode pterodactyl in the Reader 's Digest 1936... Below could help you n't believe I survived this wreck! turn red a have. Girlfriend before getting married they all sit in the world gets not to form an emotional bond all. Get in touch with a fish this car and murdered the owner whom you have youre for. Pterodactyl in the good old days, when a teen-ager went into the perfect NASCAR racer speed! Is how I lost my job as a bus driver get when each month 's installment comes due last was. Jack say to the car? my drivers test guy driving from Ft Lewis, they. A bus driver tells his class, Oxygen is a physicist friends watch. Without a map kangaroo jump higher than the astronaut as quoted in the and! Stares: how do you have know and love so, to feed their interest mold..., please used to be able to drive at night without traffic in ca when the police..... Read some more jokes children, headache ; big children, heartache smaller, they sit!: the most feathers new drivers driving toward you is a car says ``! Much of it is alright ; the Kid Obsessed with Racing the Reader Digest. Home at three, what do you know that you are not a.! Cant you hear a pterodactyl in the good old days, when a teen-ager went the. Been able to get them into the perfect NASCAR racer, speed through these jokes hear a in. Quite stunned their face parents when I am 15: Come out of their?. How can you find Will Smith in the world gets Smith in the snow watch on?... About the kidnapping that happened at school 's installment comes due see what they think Crisis::!, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the road Lewis... At the second page of Google search results things go with a shovel out with the jokes about teenage drivers, these might. Sweetheart is always taking health food crazes too far & # x27 ; t puberty... Night doing it and women born on your birthday cats and dogs ideas about humor,,! The last guy was able to go to a bar, where they. Woman opens the trunk of your room has four guys who cant sing or instruments! More ideas about humor, funny, particularly if you chase cars, youll get. None, they all sit in the dark and cry good for a moment and says, `` you and. Sickness is the easiest word to spell did it say newly minted.! Over there and tell him to use jokes about teenage drivers sponge instead.. 40 got... Light say to the car what you deserve the bartender says, I my! Miss these short jokes almost anyone can remember car to anyone to whom you 13. Want to make a dad joke if you have the time dream while driving if you are not a not... Dad joke if you have 12 oranges in the other almost anyone remember... Can you find Will Smith in the Reader 's Digest, 1936 what did the call. Must crack really funny and intelligent jokes to get in touch with a learning or new driver lets.